Santa Maybe?

Today, I am a bad Mother. I am very seriously considering NOT getting the requisite picture of my offspring in Santa Claus's lap. She won't care now...but will this make it into her memoirs at 50? Will it be brought up in her therapist's office at 30? Will it be the subject of her college essay at 18? How soon can this come back to haunt me?

Maya, in the event that you ever read this, let me lay out my reasons for you:

1. You are 4 months old, and I can't imagine you're waiting in eager anticipation to be put on a complete stranger's lap, an old man in a furry red suit at that, when it's hard enough to get you perfectly posed for a picture in a family member's lap

2. We Ferkingbeals are somewhat counter-cultural in that we don't send out Christmas cards, so I don't have any way to distribute said picture to the masses except Facebook. And we're still trying to keep your beautiful face from being too widely distributed via Facebook, though it's becoming increasingly difficult since you're so dang cute

3. Santa seems to hang out primarily at malls, and I have a somewhat illogical but strong fear of parking lots. Also, Bad Santa ruined the Mall Santa concept for your Dad.

I will check and see if Santa will be a Macy's downtown or on Fountain Square (or anywhere I can parallel park without driving through a lot)and reconsider our trip. In fact, Keith told us last night he heard Santa had been at Meijer up on Ridge. For some reason, I can do that.

4. I hate to see you cry. And I'm truly afraid you would if I sat you on an old man you've never met's lap.

So for now, those are my reasons. However, we have 3 more days of Santa Claus, so perhaps I will cave. If you find a picture of you with Santa Claus in your baby book in 20 years (first I have would have to start the baby book-- yikes! bad mom strikes again!), you'll know I couldn't go through with it.

Just please don't copy this post into your tell-all book in 25 years.