We're on Candid Camera!

Today is Friday, and I still do not have a TV.

Since I'm in the office, and my husband is at home trying to coax our daughter into actually taking a bottle, I am harboring secret hopes that it will magically appear on our doorstep while I'm gone. Perhaps the Fed-Ex fairy will leave it.

This is extraordinarily unlikely, however, given that I just logged onto Fed-Ex's website and entered my tracking number, only to discover that the item associated with this tracking number is now en route to Clinton Twnshp, MI. I don't know where that is, but I can guarantee that it's a minimum of 230 miles from Cincinnati, OH.

Mr. VP assures me that I WILL receive my Television. He says I won't be able to track it. It's untrackable using Fed-Ex's current system. Do you hear that? Our TV is off the grid. If I were having something illegal delivered, Sam's Club and their mystery branch of Fed-Ex would be the way to go. I ask Mr. VP when I'll have my TV, and he says Saturday. Or maybe Monday. I ask him if he can guarantee that. He says he doesn't like to use such strong words as guarantee.

Chad and I think we're on candid camera. Or perhaps the 21st century equivalent: a reality television program. If we're on a reality TV show, I hope you are all enjoying watching this. Now I know how Jim Carey's character felt in The Truman Show.