How I Know I'm Not Cool (Or: What's With These Youngsters and Their Music Nowadays?")

This morning, I discovered what a crotchety old woman I am. I am the female equivalent of the old guy yelling "Hey you kids! Get off of my fence!" I am a mere year or two away from telling stories that involve me walking barefoot through the snow to and from school, contrary to the laws of physics, uphill both ways. At the very least, I am terminally unhip in my musical tastes, which is slightly problematic for someone whose main gig is radio.

Of course, my taste in music was never REALLY cutting-edge. In my Middle School days, there were really 2 stations to which the residents of Hudson, OH listened: Jamn 92.3 and Q104. I spent most of my 6th through 8th grade career PRETENDING to listen to Jamn 92.3, which played the mildly rhythmic predecessor to today's considerably more Hip-Hop and R&B oriented pop music, often quickly switching my dial back to it when someone else entered the room, while secretly listening to Q104, a Mainstream AC that played "Mom Music" (think Amy Grant, 80s replays, Rod Stewart, and the like). We kept both stations on the presets for our cars, but always under the ruse that Q104 was there for Mom, while Jamn 92.3 was there for Ash and me.

And today, 14 years later, at twice the age I was when I exited Middle School, here are the pre-sets on my Sirius Satellite Radio:

1. NFL Radio
Like a 45-year old Man, I listen to this religiously throughout the season, even after the Bengals have blown it. Rich and Adam are totally my morning guys.
2. Sirius Hits Radio
I would like to say I keep this because I like the music, but I don't. Or that it's because I'm nice and want to play hit music for others who ride in my car, but I don't; I force them to listen to JamOn or the Coffee House, or even Classic Rewind. No, it's there as a placeholder, because it's Station 1, and will take me back to the beginning, where the era-based channels are, and where the seasonal music is. I can scroll up from there. It's this station that caused my particular problem this morning.
3. The Coffee House
Acoustic Rock by singer/songwriters, often performed Live or written exclusively for the station. Music that sounds like it would be best enjoyed accompanied by a very specific type of herbal refreshment.
4. Classic Rewind
Classic Rock, which is now defined as the 80s music I grew up with. Another sign I'm getting old.
5. Lithium
Plays the 90's Alternative that was cool when I was in Middle School, like the Presidents of the United States of America and Offspring. Makes me want to put on a flannel shirt (worn open over a t-shirt, of course!)
6. Jam On
Songs by Phish, String Cheese Incident, Tea Leaf Green, and others that I can definitively say are written to be enjoyed while one is high, or when one is my husband. I love a good Trey Anastasio song as much as the next person, but even I can't tolerate a 30-minute jam session by Moe.
7. CNN News
8. Radio Sinatra
Because I am indeed old
9. Bluesville
See previous comment and recurring theme
0.(There is no "10") New Country
Because Tim McGraw is still my homeboy, despite that fact that I've kind of shunned post-9/11 Country Music

Now I generally don't actually land on pre-set 2 for long periods of time. But today, I actually thought to myself "hmmm, let's see what the kids are listening to these days!" as I pressed the number 2 on my receiver. As the new Timberland song came on, I immediately thought "I don't like this." I listened to 2 additional songs, and crankily decided that I didn't really enjoy them, either. It wasn't a huge surprise. I generally cringe when I test hooks for Rhythmic CHR stations at work. But I forgot how painful it can be to listen to the whole song.

Images flashed through my head of my Dad blaring 60's bubble-gum pop as he drove us to basketball/softball/field hockey/lacrosse/Indian Princess/anywhere that involved him embarrassing our friends with his music. I am going to be that uncool to my own kid. In fact, by the time she's ready for college, this stuff that I'm already too old and cranky to like will be considered oldies. I can't even imagine what I'll think of the next generation's Pop Music.

It's the number one sign that I'm aging. Or that I was never cool in the first place.